Alright, look…… I was late for church today…….Words cannot completely describe the love I feel for my children. My heart is full of affection when I look at them, I can’t imagine life without them. They are my greatest achievement. I work extra shifts to give them more. I’ve been through every phase of their lives – dirty diapers, snotty noses, tantrums in Target, Chucky Cheese birthday parties, school functions, cheer competitions, baseball tryouts, happiness, disappointment, sunshine, rain….
But for real. I own it. Church began at 11 and I rolled in at 11:09. Late…..
My mom is so precious to me ! She supports me, tells me hard truths over coffee, makes me laugh. She gives me things she didn’t have. Raised in an orphanage, not adopted. For someone who was never given a family, she gives herself to hers in the most incredible ways! She’s amazing.
Sooooo, straight up. 10 minutes late. Tardy AF. That’s me, today, walking into church. I really enjoy seeing others happy, content with their lives. I love celebrating my friends’ successes, love to watch my NICU patients grow into thriving tiny humans. I’m about some random acts of kindness and surprise pops of joy that add to someone’s life. It’s a lot of who I am, really…..
Just late, man. I was late. Like my keychain says, “never not late.” I workout 3-6 days per week, and, mostly, eat “healthy “ food. I abstain from regular excess alcohol and illicit drugs. I try to learn new things, get quality sleep and, in general, try to be “more.” I recognize the correlation between physical health and mental well -being. I know that to pour into another’s cup, mine must be full. We must take care of ourselves in order to care for others……
But, on the real, I was late to church this morning. By almost 10 whole minutes. That happened. But I remember a time when I didn’t go to church at all. It was not even given a thought, although I still sought a relationship with Jesus, so I read and prayed and learned. Now, I do go to church more- not every day (I’m Catholic) and not even every week – but more. I still pray and read and learn. There remains in me, probably just like you, a desire to understand oneself and the One who created this “mess,” this me.
So if I offended you this morning, as I walked in late for church, I’m NOT sorry. When you looked at me, in all my tardiness, if you labeled me with a negative or made assumptions about my life and/or character or even mustered the effort to become annoyed……I DONT apologize. We’re all in this together, seeking connection, trying to be better, failing, then trying again…..being human. I’ve no shame for lacking punctuality today.
“Ain’t nothin’ in this m*^#%rf$^*%#in’ world free…..
Youll never here me complain ‘bout what I ain’t got… Cuz if I want it, imma go get it…
You keep it real with your dawg, no matter what…
Out here in these streets it ain’t no such thing as love…
Only thing I trust is this pistol and these slugs…”
(Preach, Young Dolph)
I got what I came for.
NICU with a View 